


These Things Take Time

by MrMagpie



Series: Jigsaw Falling Into Place [2]
Category: Radiohead (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, ed is so perfect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 16:10:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12391557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrMagpie/pseuds/MrMagpie
Summary: Epilogue to Jigsaw Falling Into Place.





	1. part 1

The chilly English air wafted through the cracked window in Colin’s bedroom, and he shivered as his eyes fluttered open, meeting the afternoon sun. As he noticed the strong arm around him and the warm chest beneath his cheek, memories of the night before rushed back to him. He pulled the blanket back over himself and his partner, and closed his eyes once more. It was only three in the afternoon, still plenty of time to lie in.

As he drifted back to sleep, he felt the body under him stir. His eyes reluctantly opened again and he watched Ed’s beautiful face form an annoyed expression before he opened his eyes and they met with Colin’s. His expression softened into a sleepy smile. “Hi.”

“Good morning. Are you okay?”

“Mmhmm…” Ed closed his eyes again and rolled over, burying his face in Colin’s neck. Colin smiled and wrapped his arms around Ed. He was blissfully unaware of everything going on outside of his bedroom, and he never wanted to leave the safety and warmth of Ed’s arms. Ed emitted enough body heat for the two of them, he wondered if he was always so warm. As much as he would prefer not to move, he remembered he had made his lover a promise.

“Tea?”

“Shower first. I smell like you.” Colin was slightly offended.

“Is that bad?” Ed lifted his head from Colin’s neck and smiled sweetly up at him. Colin thought his heart might stop.

“No,” Ed said softly and touched Colin’s face, kissing him gently and lazily. Colin’s heart had definitely stopped.

After a few more kisses, Ed untangled himself from Colin and the bed sheets. He sat on the edge of the bed and turned to Colin. “Join me? Please?” Colin grinned like a school boy and rubbed his eye. As Ed stood up, Colin realised how naked they still were, and he grew self-conscious. He covered himself with the blanket as he watched Ed stretch and run his fingers through his hair. Ed had probably been too drunk last night to know what he was doing. He was too drunk to realise he was far out of Colin’s league. Colin realised how lucky he was. He felt like a slug compared to Ed. Ed had to have been the most handsome man in London, and here Colin was, pale skin and skinny arms and a pair of eyes that weren’t quite sure where they belonged on his face. He never did like his appearance, but he had come to terms with it, until he began to compare himself to Ed. He was embarrassed and wanted Ed to leave before he saw him and realised what a horror he was.

“You go on and start the shower, I’ll meet up with you,” Colin said pulling the blanket up to his chest to cover as much of himself as he could. Ed gave him a knowing look and walked over, extending his hand to him.

“C’mon pretty boy, you haven’t gone self-conscious on me have ye?” Colin’s face drained of colour.

“I’ve just…” Ed grabbed Colin’s hand and pulled him to his feet. He let the blanket fall, and Ed looked him up and down. He wanted to crawl into a hole and live there forever.

“Still pretty as I remember,” and Ed lead him to the bathroom before he could protest.

After a shower, the two men smelled more like each other than they had before. Colin poured Ed and himself a cup of tea as Ed waited at the kitchen table, distracted by whatever the hell was so interesting out the window.

“Milk and sugar?”

“No thanks.”

How manly.

Colin poured a hefty amount of milk and sugar into his own cup, as he wasn’t quite as hardcore as Ed, and placed the cups on the table before sitting down.

“Thanks Cozzie,” Ed said, sipping his tea which Colin knew was far too hot.

“Of course,” Colin said blowing on his own tea.

They sipped in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Colin wondered what Ed was so focused on outside as he watched Ed’s lips meet with the teacup.

“You make good tea.”

“I know.”

More silence.

“Did you mean it when you said you’d stick around?” Colin finally broke the silence but he couldn’t look at Ed. He knew it was a bold move. His lovers never stuck around, and he didn’t expect them to, especially Ed.

“I said I might.”

“Oh.” Colin knew what he said, but he was hoping Ed didn’t remember. Ed finished his cup and stood up, taking Colin’s empty cup as well and walking to the sink. 

“Would you like another?” Colin piped up.

Ed stopped. “Nah, you?”

“I’m okay. You don’t have to wash those.”

“Wasn’t going to. I’ve got to head out now. I’ve got some business to take care of.”

“What kind of business?” Colin said before he could stop himself. He sounded dumb.

“Work stuff.”

“Oh,” Colin stared at the floor. Ed was suddenly in front of him lifting his chin to plant a kiss on his lips.

“Call me tomorrow?” Ed offered, trying to calm the the suspicions he knew Colin had. Colin forced a smile, swallowing tears.

Ed wasn’t satisfied but he grabbed his things and headed for the door anyway. Colin was frozen. Ed opened the door. “I’ll see ye later then,” he called back to the kitchen before stepping out.

“See you later.” And the door was shut behind him. Colin watched Ed walk away out his front window until he could no longer see him. Then he put his head in his hands and cried.


	2. part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is sad, but it gets better.

Colin didn’t leave his flat for the rest of the weekend, except to buy himself a bottle of cheap vodka and more cigarettes. He drank the vodka straight with no ice, he at least had the decency to pour it into a glass first. He didn’t write, he couldn’t find a single word in his head. He didn’t play bass, he wanted nothing to do with the instrument. It only reminded him of the way Ed watched him play, the wonder and adoration in his eyes. He didn’t go out to his usual bar, he wasn’t interested in chatting anyone up.

Colin wasn’t depressed because he missed Ed, and he didn’t doubt Ed truly enjoyed his time with him, he was depressed because he hated himself. He met new people and made new friends all the time so he wouldn’t have to come home alone and look at himself in the mirror. Sure he was an alright musician, he was still confident in that, but what else did he have to offer? Especially to someone like Ed. Ed was the first person he believed was better than him. He never thought some people were better than others, people were just people. Everyone had their good and their bad. But Ed made him feel like he was all bad. Ed was everything that was good. He had a childlike wonder about him, he was innocent and kind, honest and beautiful. He had a successful career and anyone would be lucky to have him. Colin knew he was lucky, but his luck always ran out. He understood that Ed had come into his life to put him in his place, to bring him down a few notches, to knock him off his high horse. His life was becoming too easy, too comfortable. This is always how his life was, when he rode high for too long and forgot to check himself, the universe would send something to shoot him down. Last time this happened it was a public indecency charge in the alley near a pub he would never return to again, four days after he got his writing job. He still sometimes saw that man in the city, but they ignored each other, naturally. He hoped that wouldn’t happen with Ed. He hoped Ed could still look him in the eye after realising he was actually human garbage.

So the weekend came and went, and another cold English week began. Colin was lost in his self-deprecating thoughts again, sitting at the desk in his sunlit study, chain-smoking and listening to the record turn on the turntable. He couldn’t be bothered to get up and flip it. As he opened his second pack of fags and lit one, he heard a knock at his door. He knew it was Ed, who else would bother checking up on him? Ed had apparently not yet realised what a mess he was getting into. Colin hadn’t showered or brushed his teeth in days, his hair was greasy and he could barely kick a path through his flat to the front door. He nervously kept smoking, and hoped Ed would assume he wasn’t home and leave, but Ed knew him too well. Ed had him all figured out in such a short time, and it made Colin uneasy. The more Ed knew about him, the more he could only dislike him.

The knocking at the door went on, so Colin finally got up to answer it. He walked as slowly as he could, prolonging the inevitable. He opened the door to the sun shining down on Ed’s worried face. He looked beautiful as ever — smelled nice too. He had a lightly coloured jumper on and jeans that fit him too well in all the right places. His face was clear and his eyes were bright and and his hair was sticking up exactly where it should, in that douchey style that looked so right on him. Colin felt naked.

“Hey Cozzie. You look like shit.”

“You look like a god.” Ed frowned.

“Have you been alright? I had a nice chat with your bartender friend last night, Maria, was it? She said she hadn’t seen you all weekend. I was hoping to hear from you again.”

“I’m fine.” Colin couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Clearly.”

Awkward silence as a gust of wind blew through the brown leaves that littered Colin’s front step. Ed shivered.

“Can I come in?”

Colin didn’t answer. He tossed his cigarette out the door and turned into the living room. He wasn’t sure if he meant for Ed to follow him or not, but he did. Ed sat on the sofa too close for Colin’s comfort, and put his arm around him, looking at him like he expected him to say something. Colin held himself and looked at Ed’s knees. When he failed to give Ed the response he wanted, Ed finally broke the silence.

“What did I do?”

“Nothing.” It wasn’t a lie.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” But Colin didn’t kiss back.

“Are all writers this moody and weird?” Colin couldn’t help but smile and look at him, which reminded Ed to breathe.

“We are, actually.” Colin finally felt like it was okay to put his head on Ed’s shoulder.

“Would you like me to help you clean up a bit around here?”

“Can we just sit?”

“Okay.” Colin closed his eyes and soaked up what he knew would be the last of Ed’s presence. After a few minutes, Colin finally exhaled and decided to stop torturing him.

“How long before you finally decide you don’t want to stick around anymore?”

“I don’t know, why? Have you got plans?”

“Never, but you do.”

“No, I don’t.” Colin looked up at him angrily. Ed was confused.

“Why would you even give me the time of day?”

“Because I like you.”

“That’s shite and you know it.”

“Colin, relax. You’re interesting, talented, beautiful, kind, smart, and actually capable of holding an intelligent conversation — even when you’re shitfaced. What’s not to like about you?”

Colin’s expression softened and he felt guilty. He wouldn’t let himself cry in front of Ed. He was being such a drama queen over the whole ordeal. 

“What is it about you that makes me act a fool?”

Ed smiled. He knew, but he would rather let Colin figure that out on his own. He put his hand on Colin’s cheek and Colin leaned into it, looking up at him like a lost puppy.

“We’re okay Cozzie.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Let me stay here and take care of you, make you feel pretty again.”

“You don’t have to take care of me. You make me feel pathetic.”

“You are kind of pathetic.” And Ed kissed his pouting lips.

So Ed made him tea and cleaned him up and helped him tidy the flat. They cuddled on the sofa and talked about their dreams and Colin felt like his flesh might not rot after all.

“Ed… I think I might be falling in love with you. What do I do?”

“Let me fall in love with you back.”

“Bullshit.”

“Why don’t you believe anything I say?”

“I believe everything you say.” Colin thought his face would explode.

“Then believe I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to.”

“I want you here.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

“You mean it?”

“For fuck’s sake Cozzie.”

Colin laughed and kissed him, releasing all of his tension into Ed’s mouth. Ed swallowed it and begged him for more.

“We’re okay, Ed.”

“Yeah, we’re okay.”


End file.
